I have been dating L for about a week. I never really dated much before, at least not since High School. My first wife and I dated a bit, but it was such an intense, whirlwind romance, that dating really can’t describe it. It was being totally infatuated with each other in that John Lennon/Yoko Ono way. We had to be together every single moment we could. We couldn’t bear being apart.
My second wife caught me three months after my first divorce, nine months after discovering she had been cheating on me. I was a single dad, I had started a new job in a city 65 miles away, I was scared, unsure, and vulnerable. The second one bowled me over with attention: she sent me flowers at work; showed up late at night at my place to crawl into bed with me, unannounced and unexpected; she lavished me with sex and affection.
I was hooked. I was sure that moving in together, 65 miles away in Omaha would be perfect for both of us and our kids. A secure home; secure finances; I wouldn’t have to be alone. Turned out we had almost nothing in common. We fought about the money she spent on her drop-out son. I shut myself up inside myself. I buried who I was to please her, just like I had my first wife.
I met L completely by chance. It was on a dating site that neither of us had visited in a long time: me, six months; her, 4 years. I only went on the site because a friend asked me to tell me what I thought about her profile. I saw that I had a message that had been sent just the day before asking if I was still single and if I would be interested in talking. Why not? I thought. She seemed like someone I would really like from her profile, and she was gorgeous to boot.
That was a week ago. Since then, we have seen each other almost every day. We have made plans to have lunch at her place, a ten minute drive from my work, three days a week. This Friday I am taking her to a very nice lunch for my Birthday. My birthday, my choice. That evening the two of us, my kids, and her son are going to dinner for my birthday. They are coming at the urging of my daughter who really likes L.
This time, there is no mad rush, no sense of moving toward an end point. This time there is just enjoyment in each other’s company and the excitement of getting to know each other. There is much more to it than that, of course. We have talked about most major issues that two single parents need to talk about before getting at all involved with each other. We have so much in common in experiences, outlook on life, and what we want from a relationship. It is a great start. Where it will end up, who knows? Neither of us is trying to push things in any particular direction. It is just nice, comfortable, and fun.